20. Re-read Step 3. I am responsible for only one person’s actions…whose? Why?

I am responsible for only my actions. Last night was a good example of this when I was feeling really anxious about my sister’s workshop and my friends who were attending it. I wanted her to do well. I wanted them to enjoy it. I wanted her to feel that they were enjoying it. All of this caused me to not enjoy the class myself. Instead of truly being able to take an introspective look at myself as she was instructing, I was stuck looking at others. Trying to control what was going on around me. Probably the best way I could have positively contributed to the class would be to focus on the assignments she was giving us and learn from the things she was saying.

One thing I found interesting when re-reading step 3 was the discussion of aligning willpower with God’s will. It says “When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can make the decision to exert himself.” I sometimes feel like I’m making myself helpless when I turn over my will to God. Understanding that it’s not that I have to completely give up, but instead make steps to follow God’s will, makes more sense. Those instincts I get when I know what I shoud do but don’t want to (i.e. making an outreach call before eating) are times when I can use my willpower to follow God’s will.